I had a post planned for NEDA week that may never end up seeing the light of day. I was slightly annoyed with myself for neglecting something I’ve always felt so passionate about. It’s been, ahem, a minute since my last encounter with this blog.
But, fear not, for I had what I like to refer to as a ‘recovery revelation.’ I became aware of the fact that I was less preoccupied with Eating Disorders in general. For the first time in years, I wasn’t seeking out ED related content with the same fervour. No longer was I inclined to dive for my phone following a realisation that I suddenly MUST investigate. Having already observed a similar ‘indifference phase’ during the recovery trajectory in others who have led the way in the ED community, this seemed like a positive development. Of course, that was before an article published by Buzzfeed reignited my purpose.
In the wake of the COVID19 pandemic, I have found myself analysing the actions of the hoarding, panic-buying masses. I’ve concluded that they’re incapable of preventing their survival instincts from taking over. This does not mean that I approve of such deplorable behaviour. I just understand what drives it and why they can’t or wont stop. Anyway, just as I had begun to consider writing about the possible repercussions of a sudden, perceived food scarcity for Eating Disorder sufferers, the article in question appeared on my Facebook feed.
Now, I was beyond pleased that someone highlighted this illness through such a far-reaching publication. I didn’t even mind that the article itself openly endorsed the usual ‘control’ rhetoric that I so heavily disagree with. The excitement lay in the fact that this was finally being addressed, despite the lack of sympathy and usual displays of ignorance in the comment section. Yes, we still have a quite a lot of work to do in terms of educating people about Eating Disorders. But, I swooped into the comment section with my encyclopaedic knowledge and antagonistic saltiness. Some old guy deleted an entire thread after I told him to go and cry into his TV dinner. I’m not even sorry; don’t be rude to my people.
Then, it’s like I remembered why I started this damn blog.
In that moment, the determination I had often felt overwhelmed by came screaming back. I forfeited over a decade of my life to this illness and the thought of anyone else doing the same is unacceptable to me. I felt a deep sense of sadness while I read over the hundreds of comments. We have advantageous personality traits as individuals in the ED realm; intelligence and empathy. Once our brains are re-fed, we are finally capable of utilising those attributes in a positive manner. I desperately wanted full recovery for every individual in that comment section.
Along with re-committing to my blog, I have also decided to start a support page on Facebook. It was only a matter of time, really. Approaching Eating Disorders from a neurobiological perspective has resulted in the most significant progress of my entire recovery. Sharing that information in a bid to support my fellow sufferers is one thing I can do to help combat such a crippling disease. Surrounding myself with like-minded, intelligent individuals is a mere bonus. The author of that article deserves our gratitude for her bravery, as do Buzzfeed for bringing this affliction to light. Message received, universe.