It’s kind of crazy for me to consider how my life, thoughts and feelings have changed since the inception of this blog. I’ve stopped and started multiple times; motivation so often just out of reach. This medium will no longer be an outlet for my frustrations and the petulant self-absorbed musings. In fact, many of my previous posts have been hidden from public viewing. The surviving few are the true reflection of the intentions I had originally set for myself. I don’t even recognize the woman who wrote such nonsensical, trivial diatribes. My goal is to inform, question and hopefully bring about the change that is so desperately needed within the recovery community. Now that I consider myself to be in true remission, my position is clearer than before and I know that I will finally achieve this. I feel an intense connection to the person I had hoped to be, along with this renewed drive to do something meaningful with my life. I lost touch with that for quite a while in my quest to seem like a ‘cool, blog girl.’ I’ve never put the idea of being this way above my own beliefs and who I truly am as a person. It’s not in my nature to strive for acceptance; I’d rather raise hell and topple the societal norms. I need to stop caring whether people will like me and start using my intellect in the way I feel I’m supposed to. That is where true change happens and I’m so excited that I can’t sleep. This. This is the moment I’ll always come back to when I question myself or have feelings of inadequacy. There is so much meaning in my experience and I’m bloody going to ensure that I find it.

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